Holiday break down

Do you know what really sucks at the start of your holiday? Having the car breakdown on the way to the airport at 3:45am. Waiting on the breakdown truck to arrive and poor #1's husband having to come and collect us. Delivering us to the airport 10 minutes after check in closed. Sprinting with #1 through the airport to make that flight, because we'd checked in online and could make it. Leaving #2 in the airport to change flights and deal with the large suitcase which was the reason we didn't all get to sprint through the airport. Waiting in Malaga airport for #2 to get there. Suffering the car hire guy bitching about us not taking their extra insurance. 

All of that sort of ruins the first day of your holiday. Do you know what makes it better?

Sunshine. Spending time with my sisters in almost complete silence because there was no need to make conversation. Reading our books, eating well and soaking up the sunshine. 

We've all some how managed to attach ourselves to men that can't sit still. Who need to do things while on holiday. So we holiday together and don't have to do anything.

You forgot?!

Our first anniversary fell on a Sunday and so I blamed there being no post delivery for the lack of cards. We opened the couple that had arrived the day before and received text messages from some friends and O's family.

There was no a whiff of a message or card from my family.

We went out for the day and I expected to come home to the answerphone full of messages from my family asking what we were doing to celebrate.........nothing.

I came home from work on Monday expecting cards thinking they'd just missed the Saturday post.........nothing (ok a bank statement).

MY FAMILY FORGOT OUR FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!

I sent a nudge, nudge email to my Mum and got a grovelling response. My nudge, nudge to #2 got a complete blank in response, she had no idea of the significance of the date. (#1 is in Spain on holiday, I'm letting her off)

What do you mean the date of the party of the decade is not etched into your brain forever? What do you mean you don't come over all emotional when that particular date is mentioned?

(Am I the only one that feels strange when people talk about events/meetings that happen to fall on my birthday? Yes, ok then.)

My Mum has asked how they will ever make it up to us. I floated the idea that they take us with them to the Caribbean later this year. Apparently forgetting your daughters first wedding anniversary does not mean you need to pay for her and her husband to tag along on your holiday. We're very disappointed.

Tumble update

(source)

So I promised that I would do an update on #2 after her fall. Shortly after I first posted about her fall, #2 went to the doctor and was signed off work until January. During the last 3 months, #2 has slowly started to recover.

She had train track braces put on to bring her jaw back into alignment ensuring that she could bite correctly. She had root canal on her front three teeth as the nerves in them have died. Her broken teeth have been repaired so that her smile is normal - she isn't completely happy with it but has spent so much time in the dentist's chair that she can't bear to go back yet. 

The stimulus overload took a long time to get past but she was eventually able to go out alone. As she explained when you walk down a busy high-street there is so much going on. Traffic, weather, music from shops, and hundreds of fellow shoppers having hundreds of different conversations. When feeling 'normal' you filter all of this out, you focus on the shop you are trying to reach, sometimes tuning into a particularly interesting conversation or piece of gossip. #2 couldn't filter any of it, she experienced all of it bombarding all of her senses. Slowly she has been more and more able to filter to the point where she can now drive on her on - you need to be able to filter and focus all at the same time when driving. 

Her work were incredibly good as part of their health benefits she was entitled to a counselling service which meant she had someone to talk through her issues and frustrations with - who wasn't one of the family. She began on a very slow staggered return to work, luckily she is able to work from home. She started doing an hour or so at home to spending some time in the office to spending full days at the office. 

She never did receive a report from the police about what happened the day of the accident. Simply a letter that there would be no legal proceedings as a result of the accident. 

When we visited at New Year you could tell that she was on the mend. However a couple of weeks ago we got emailed a photo from #2's boyfriend which was her on a bike ride! The first time she had been back on a bike since her accident and a sure sign that she is fixed!

Tumble

There is nothing like your best friend telling you your blog doesn’t look chipper at the moment to kick start you into activity. Chipper is not exactly a word I would use to describe my mood or my life at present (or my blog - sorry).

Those of you that don’t follow me on twitter (why not?) won’t have heard that just over two weeks ago #2 (middle sister) took a tumble off her bicycle as she was on her way to work. That Monday O and I were driving home from our weekend with his parents. When we got home at about 4pm there was a missed call on my mobile with a voicemail from my Mum. “You’re probably still driving but give me a call.” There was no “asap” no “immediately” but from her tone of voice, I knew there was something wrong. I phoned and heard that #2 had come off her bike, no one is sure what happened but she was in hospital with cuts and bruises, about seven stitches to her lip, a broken cheekbone and four smashed teeth. Her CT scan was all clear and they were expecting to release her that evening – they kept her in. Her boyfriend and #1 (eldest sister) had been with her for the day and a wee while later I spoke with #1 to hear her side of the story. The theory is that #2 had swerved to avoid something (not sure what) and had hit the back of a van. She was taken to hospital on a full trauma call (team of doctors, strapped to the board, head in brace – have watched too many episodes of ER). However by the time her boyfriend got to the hospital (he works outside London) and by the time #1 got to the hospital (the one day a week she car shares) the police had left. No one could tell them what had happened. #2 cannot remember and is missing about 3 hours of the morning – she can remember cycling along and then being in the hospital and her boyfriend arriving, but none of the activity at the scene, none of the ambulance journey and nothing in the trauma room. Although she was apparently alert and conscious the entire time meaning, she must have answered all their questions correctly even if she cannot remember any of those conversations.

She will eventually receive a copy of the police incident report and have to deal with the repercussions if she was at fault and caused the accident – I had thought that if the only person she has hurt is herself then where is the blame to assign? However, if she has caused damage to another vehicle she will need to pay. Equally if she is not at fault, she is currently off work unpaid and has new teeth to buy (she has just started a new job and is not currently eligible for sick pay).

I was busy with work last week and whilst I wanted to see her, I didn’t really understand how I could help other than look at her and be there (plus she had a house full already) – I didn’t really understand her injuries at that point. Then I caught a cold and was told to stay away. The last thing she needed was a cold, plus she was under strict doctor’s orders not to blow her nose or she could put her cheekbone out of alignment. Feeling much better and a lot less contagious on Friday morning I boarded the plane to London, I was spending the weekend as my parent’s were going home to have a break and her boyfriend was flying to New York to run the marathon – which he did in 3 hrs 42 mins 58 secs – uhmazing!

I did not realise or I would have been there sooner.

(although not sure how I’d have dealt with the cold).

Externally she looks ok, her cuts and bruises had more or less gone, quite a few of the stitches in her lip came out while I was there and the swelling was going down. Her teeth still look terrible but it will take time for her jaw to stop aching (think she hit the ground, jaw first, with quite a clatter) she is fed up of mashed potatoes.

What I had not appreciated and had not been fully explained to me (trying not to worry me) is that she is constantly exhausted – I thought this was because of the bruises and the aching but actually, her brain is just tired, it took a big jolt.
She struggles to cope with more than one conversation at a time and found my parents and me chatting around her exhausting because she could not follow the numerous threads. She hasn’t managed to watch the TV although we did try watching Strictly Come Dancing – the movement of the screen, the bright lights and the noise made her incredibly tense, she frowned at the TV and tried to back away into the sofa. She struggles to use the computer for long periods because the flickering screen makes her head hurt. She doesn’t like going into the kitchen because the fridge is noisy, as is the dishwasher and washing machine and the clatter of the dishes. She is a wreck whenever she leaves the house, being in cars is extremely scary and even walking along the pavement because she feels everything is so unpredictable. We did go out for some walks and she is trying to go out more as she feels rather trapped inside – but it is taking small steps and she is a quivering wreck if a cyclist passes her.

Mum has been with her practically since it happened, leaving this weekend to have a break and only because she knew I was there – she is coming back on Thursday. Thankfully, Mum is a clinical psychologist with forty years experience so she has seen many, many victims of road traffic accidents and is putting all her skills to good use trying to build up #2’s confidence.

Having to leave her yesterday was just heart breaking as it was the first time she had been left alone since the accident, it was just for a couple of hours as her friend came in to make her food but she was in floods of tears. Trying hard to be strong but not really managing it. She is also feeling guilty that she cannot just snap out of it and get on with stuff.

It is obviously going to take time for her to recover and we will need to see whether she gets any memories back. Being the baby sister I am not used to having to be the strong one – not sure I like it much. Looking forward to having her fit and well again, no matter how long that might take.

Recaps: #2 reading

#2 read – Union by Robert Fulghum

"You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife"

There were a few shaky moments when #2 stood up to read. This was the first time that she had managed to read the passage without crying. 


She had practised in front of her partner and in despair wailed that she couldn’t stop crying his response was “man up and strap on a pair”! Love it!

I queued for Wimbledon 2010

I even have a sticker and a numb bum to prove it. I didn’t unfortunately get into the ground or to watch any live tennis.

This post is my lessons learnt:

• Arrive early, we arrived at 9:00 and were 8,700 in the queue, had we been half an hour or an hour earlier we would have probably gained access to the ground.
• Queuing is hard work, take something comfortable to sit on and plenty of food and drink - the burger vans were selling bottles of water for £1.50 and it only gets more expensive inside the grounds.
• The toilet facilities were actually very clean – a huge relief.
• The grounds open at about 10:30 and around 12:00 there is a big decampment and people are led closer to the grounds – they take you from this lovely grassy field where you have plenty of space to spread out, where the kids can play football and sit in the shade and make you stand on a plastic roadway which is about 3 metres wide for, potentially, 5 hours. There are some places to cop a squat but it is far from comfortable – why having something to sit on is important.
• Once the show courts have started play at 13:00 and people have taken their seats another wave of people are let in. If you don’t get in during this time you are in for a long wait as it then becomes one-in-one-out.
• The stewards are pretty good at estimating how long it might take you to get into the grounds and at crowd control – they’ve done this for many a year and can judge the queue. They also know what capacity allowed for that day, this varies from day to day depending how many corporate tickets or presales have been made.
• The overnight campers are hardcore! They were setting up camp from 10am.
• Queuing for Wimbledon is like a form of torture, you gamble with yourself – if we haven’t moved by 12:00 we’ll go home, we moved. If we haven’t moved by 14:00 we’ll go home, we moved. If we don’t move in the next 20 minutes we’ll go home. We did move but not far enough so we went home.

#2 and I joined the queue at 9am and needed to leave at 18:30 to meet our parents for dinner, we gave up at 14:30 it was looking unlikely that we wouldn’t get into the grounds until 17:00 giving us an hour and a half of tennis without any guarantee of getting onto a court. Next time we will know better.