Excitement

Conversation about the wedding that happened around February time

“friend”: Are you excited yet?

Me: No

“friend”: why not? When are you going to get excited?

Me: What is there to get excited about? I’m excited to be married – is that not enough?

“friend”: No - you should be exciting, planning a wedding is exciting, weddings are exciting, my wedding was excited, I WAS excited about planning my wedding, why are you not EXCITED, it is EXCITING, there must be something wrong with you if you aren’t EXCITED.

Me: *ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH FUCK OFF*

Thoughts recently……………….

The invitations are out, the wedding notices are filed and my dress is being altered, the favours are made and we know in our heads, ok I know in my head, what is happening with the other details. Since the invitations went out everything has felt easier, more calm, there hasn't been the rush. I'm not deluding myself I'm well aware that there needs to be more rushing! But technically the wedding can happen without any of the other details. The rest of the stuff is just stuff and if I don’t want to do it I don’t have to. Ok so technically I didn’t have to DO any of it but the unspoken pressure was there. And I’m going to do the other stuff because I want to.

Now I’m feeling a whole heap of excitement, I can’t wait to get married, I can’t wait for our families to come together, I can’t wait for the evening when all our friends are dancing their behinds off. I can’t wait to see all the babies all dressed up and hearing them chatter and gurgle their nonsense. I can’t wait to be announced as husband and wife. I can’t wait to snuggle into my husband's chest at the end of the night and fall asleep knowing that forever looks like an amazing place to go together.

I’ve always been excited about being married but finally I’m excited about the wedding*.

Which is about bloody time because we only have two and a bit weeks to go!

*It does probably make me weird that I haven't found the process excited.
I'm slightly perplexed by the disappointed look I'm getting from people when they ask if I'm all organised or stressed out. Yes I'm organised and no I'm not stressed out and why is that disappointing for you? Really you'd prefer me to be tearing my hair out - that seems ungracious.