Any Other Woman - Stay at Home Dad

I'm over on Any Other Woman today talking about how O is now a stay at home Dad. Would love to hear your thoughts or feedback.

Thanks to the lovely ladies over there for giving me the opportunity to post on their excellent site.

Mr Right

(source)

This picture is so far from reality it made me laugh.

O is always right, I'm sometimes allowed to be slightly right, but never 100%.

Anniversary day out

We went to the zoo, zoo, zoo

How about you, you, you?

You should go too, too, too

We went to the zoo, zoo, zoo.

Ok so I changed the words slightly but you get the idea. 

We spent our very sunny one year wedding anniversary at Edinburgh Zoo

photos by me or O

Celebrations

(images by me or O)

So as you are aware last Wednesday was the big 30 for me. To celebrate (or commiserate) we had planned a break away. We headed to the Lake District, to the same area where we'd spent our minimoon. However first we went for lunch in Kendal (of mint cake fame), it was a beautiful day so I tested out my new camera (present from O and my parents). O had chosen a place for lunch, I was very impressed by, he doesn't usually plan that far in advance. We walked into the restaurant and I turned towards the bar to ask for a table for two, however O just pointed me into the next room. When I looked up I was staring at my parents. It took me a moment to put two and two together. You know that feeling when you see someone you know but not in the situation you were expecting to see them - yes that. My lovely husband had managed to keep a secret from me and had set up the whole surprise. We had a lovely meal at New Moon, a wander about Kendal and then said goodbye to my parents and headed to our hotel.


We were spending the night at Langdale, after we checked in we headed to the pool for a swim, sauna and to slowly poach in the jacuzzi. We underestimated our time slightly so were a little rushed getting ready for dinner, we then got lost on our way to the restaurant, which was a little stressful. It was sooooooooooooooo worth it though. We went back to the Drunken Duck which is where we had spent our minimoon. The food was delicious as we remembered. 


The next day I'd decided I wanted to tackle a fear of mine head on. On our minimoon we took a row boat out onto Coniston water and I had a panic attack, for absolutely no reason - I was not expecting it and it has irritated me ever since. I was determined that this time I would not have a freak out. So after another swim etc. we headed through the drizzle to Coniston. This time there was no freak out and no tears. There was rain and drizzle and a wet seat but some bursts of sunshine and warmth and a lovely time. 


Our journey home was made all the more lovely with a brief stop at Rebecca's home - we had cake.

My husband the robot

*(source)

I think O might be a robot.

He sheds nuts and bolts randomly** all over our home.

Thankfully he isn't broken despite missing all these bits.

*I loved this book as a child

**I think they might come from his pockets but really why are his pockets so full of 'things'

A year ago

A year ago today my boy wrote magical words in the sand

Today we have been married for eight days

*image by me

Not our first dance song 3

When we first got together O made me a mix CD. Putting all cheesiness aside I loved it – can’t bloody find it now (haven’t properly looked because it is somewhere in his CD collection which is too huge and scary to contemplate) but I played it a LOT. There was no romance (never has been) there was no soppiness. This was a taster and insight into O’s music collection. They were songs that went together well and he’d obviously put a lot of effort into it. The song we have chosen for our first dance is on the CD.


He maybe should have listened to the words a bit more because some of the songs aren’t really appropriate for your new girlfriend. Still it is a great song and Belle and Sebastian are still one of O’s favourites.




Belle and Sebastian Lazy Line Painter Jane

Tuesday evening

*

O – “You went out so I had to make the tea, I shouldn’t have to clear up as well”**

Me – “I went out to the Family Planning Clinic*** that isn’t my idea of FUN. I had a 2 hour wait so I can pump myself full of hormones on a daily basis so that we don’t make babies. You try it!!”

*hormonal breakdown
**he makes the tea and clears up everyday. I’m not sure why on Tuesday it all got too much for him. I put the bins out which is clearly a boy job!
***I don’t mind waiting but they had two new incompetents on the reception desk and not enough nurses and the waiting room was absolutely roasting hot.

On reflection I may have been a little unreasonable.

Mum in Law

If you aren’t already green with envy that I have two Mums, I also have a pretty awesome Mum-in-law. I’ve never been introduced to other boyfriend's parents so I don’t have any comparison but I think we get along pretty well. It is such a big unknown, you are in love with this individual but there is no guarantee that you’ll love their family – their friends you can usually avoid if there is serious disagreement but families kind of stick around plus the horror stories about Mum’s and their sons!

Having been with O for 7 years I already feel like I’m part of their family but it is a huge bonus to getting married. We had a family photo recently and I hung back with the other partners until we were told off for being silly and shooed into the photo. Moreover, I’m going to take her name, we’ll both be the same Mrs. I’ve heard my friends say oh don’t call me Mrs so and so that is his mother *derogatory tone*!

She has been fabulous about the wedding, no interfering lots of encouragement, lots of “that is a really good idea”, “I like that”, “you are very organised” etc. I worried when the florist felt that the anemone she had chosen for her buttonhole would be too delicate to last the day but no she would have anything that the florist suggested. We only had one “maybe you should do it this way” regarding some of the invitation wording and that was because we deliberately sent it to her for her opinion.

Tonight mum-in-law is coming to stay at our flat O is out so we are going out for curry just the two of us. I’m really looking forward to it. (It has to be curry because dad-in-law doesn’t like curry so she never gets to eat it when he is about). She is on her way to France, she did invite me to go along, unfortunately I couldn’t afford it either in money or time.

How do you get on with you mum-in-law?
Have a great weekend.

Stag Do

I'm feeling all out of sorts my boy is off on his stag do. 

His weekend:
Plenty of boy banter
Surfing
Drinking
A long journey
Not very much sleep

My weekend:
Cleaning the flat
Eating lots of unhealthy snacks
Watching lots of rubbish TV
Printing our invitations
Gluing bits of card for the invitations
Printing envelopes
Sleep
Bath
Reading

I can’t be bothered, I can’t be bothered, I can’t be bothered

I’m supposed to be going to my friend’s house for tea tonight*, she has very kindly offered to host our group of friends again even though it is absolutely my turn – I think I might owe them three or four dinners by now. But I can’t be bothered to go, I can’t be bothered to talk about the wedding and how stressed I am and how I’ve achieved nothing since I last saw them. I can’t be bothered to pretend to be excited or happy or enthusiastic about life it’s tiring. Also I’m bad at pretending. I can’t be bothered with people’s sympathetic eyes and their offers of help which turn into more work for me.

I can’t be bothered getting up in the morning, I can’t be bothered getting dressed and going to work and I can’t be bothered to actually do any work while there, which is a bit of a problem because I don’t have a free second at the moment and need to concentrate.

Food I can always be bothered with I’m not that bad.

The only person I can be bothered with is O – which I suppose is a good thing seeing as I’ll be spending the rest of my life with him. He noticed immediately that I wasn’t right and has set about coming up with ways to “fix” me, in his, I’m a boy and don’t like talking about feelings sort of a way. Which is ok with me considering I can’t explain why I’m feeling like this.

I want to have the energy to write an intelligent post regarding Glasgow Bride’s remark at the end of her post. About how blogging is all about having a conversation and that it is scary butting in on other people’s conversations but that I’ve never had a bad response. Although there are some places where I’m just too shy. About how we all started our blogs at different times but there are new blogs appearing all the time so you are never the new blog for very long. About how blog land is an amazing place where you have access to all these wonderful people you just find a blog that suits your personality and hopefully make friends. About the teasing I got from O when I plucked up the courage to go and meet one of them in person and how thankful I was that she didn’t turn out to be a 50 year old pervert and that we got on.

I’m going to give myself a kick up the behind and get back to being “normal” (ha). Blog posts will come but they may be sporadic.

*I started writing this yesterday morning, while at work oops turns out I found a free second and then had to stay late, but I never got time to finish it. I did go to see my friends and I actually had a really good time. There was a baby to cuddle, lots of giggles, lots of food and some chocolate thrown in for good measure. Probably serves me right for being a miserable cow.

Bear with a sore head

(image from here)

O has tooth ache so he is not a happy bunny.

(or any other animal related cliche you can come up with)

The problem for O, and therefore me, is that he won't take painkillers. In fact he has never taken painkillers. Not a paracetamol or aspirin EVER!

I on the other hand always have painkillers in my hand bag.

I think he is a bit weird but I've said that before.

It’s your birthday, we’re going to party like it’s your birthday.

(source)

Happy birthday O – today

Happy birthday #2’s boyfriend – tomorrow

Happy birthday #1’s husband – next Friday

Apparently we sisters have something for Pisceans.

It is all my fault

This marriage malarkey is all my fault. When O and I had been going out for a little while the concept of marriage raised it’s head. At the time O told me he didn’t understand the point of marriage and didn't want to get married. Meh! we hadn’t really been together that long so I didn’t really think about it too much. I didn’t know my own thoughts about marriage so why make an issue out of a non-issue.

As the years ticked by the inevitable jokes started about how long we’d been together and when the marriage bells were going to chime. O was still in the “not a chance” camp and I was starting to be in the “really? not a chance? that’s kind of a shame I think I’d kind of like to get married, but its not a big deal” camp. O was very reassuring that he wanted to be with me forever he just didn’t need a bit of paper to confirm that. He listened to my concerns and conceded that if I wanted to get married (to the point of I reeeaaaallllly wanted to get married) then we could consider it more. It never felt like too much of an issue as I knew I wanted to be with him and I couldn’t put my finger on why I wanted a certificate to confirm that. I wasn’t going to end the relationship because it, I’d got this far with my eyes open and really, I love this boy why end a relationship because of that.

In the middle of all of this it started……………….

All of our friends started getting engaged – it started with my female friends (I’m sure there is something funny in there about pushy females). There was a point when all of my female friends (to be fair I don’t actually have that many friends) were engaged except one who had just got divorced and me! At that point I reeeeaaaaalllllyyy didn’t want to be engaged, I didn’t want to feel like we were jumping on the bandwagon, just because everyone else we knew was getting married didn’t mean we needed to. Lots of engagement announcements are inevitably followed by a lots of weddings – 6 in the one year and I was bridesmaid at 2. They sort of sickened me to the whole experience, plus seeing friends turn from normal sane individuals to raving lunatics on beta-blockers was not an appealing option. (seriously I kid you not)

O and I kept talking about marriage, what it might mean and why we might do it. I had by this time come to the conclusion that I reeeaaaaalllly wanted to get married, and for some reason I wanted to get married before we had children*.

To fit in with our 5 year plan** we had to get married fairly soon so I kind of knew the proposal was coming soon (still it was a lovely amazing surprise).

So you see it is all my fault, although O now insists that he very much wants to get married and believe me there have been many times when I have begged to call the whole thing off. If I’d just listened to O in the first place we wouldn’t be having this wedding and our relationship would be carrying on as always.

*I really can not explain this, it is just a deep rooted belief, I think deeply rooted in my own insecurity.
**are we the only ones that have one of these? Does anyone else’s seem to continue to be 5 year plans even though time passes – the 5 years never comes to an end or get any shorter

Girls vs. Boys

When O and I were down south looking after my niece and nephew we played a girls vs. boys game. In teams you are asked to name 10 stereotypical things about the other sex while an egg timer runs. For example, name 10 things that a woman might carry in her hand-bag. Name 10 male film villains. Name 10 household chores. Name 10 things men do at the weekend.

The boys picked a card so my niece and I needed to answer: Name 10 jobs for men. I start rattling through all the careers I can think of:

Doctor; Accountant; Builder; paramedic etc. etc.

Then coincidentally the boys had to answer basically the same question: Name 10 jobs for women. So O basically repeats the list I have rattled off. He got to Doctor when my 11 year old niece pipes up with, don’t be silly girls can’t be doctors they’re nurses, doctor is a boys job. O and I looked at each other in horror (we were already not impressed with the game). We declared the game over and had a sit down with my wonderful niece informing her that girls can do anything they put their mind to; they can be doctors or astronauts etc. And vice versa boys can be nurses or stay at home parents etc.

This incident and other posts that have been flying around recently about the concept of wife (here, here) have got me thinking about the idea of female vs. male roles. Or in other words how spoilt I am. O works fewer hours per week than I do and as a result he is in the house more than me and so ends up doing more housework. He refuses to clean the bathroom but apart from that I’m spoilt rotten. He is also a much better cook than me and so does all the cooking. Which is why he continued to make the food while I took photos of potatoes. I do the admin for the house; I phone plumbers, get insurance quotes and make sure the bills are paid on time and I clean the bathroom.

(we've pretty much reversed the stereotypical gender roles)

Sunday night

O comes out of the kitchen “Aw this one must be for you” he hands me a heart shaped potato.

Me: “Aw that is so cute! I must take a picture”

O “what do you want a picture for? It is only a potato”

Me “its a heart shaped potato and I want to put it on my blog”

O “Hmph is your fiancé’s blog interfering with your life?” *stomp off*

Me “Oh I’m sorry darling, of course, I’m being silly lets make tea together” – Or that is what I should have said and wish I had said. What I actually did was smile at him, get out the camera and take pictures, while O continued to make our food.

(image by me)

Me thinks I might need to get my priorities sorted. I generally try to write blog posts on Monday/Friday nights when I have the house to myself and schedule posts for the week. However I do read and comment on blogs or on twitter most of the time – even sometimes at work (oops).I think my constant computer addiction might be wearing a little thin with O.

How do you maintain you blog/life balance?

Lottery Houses I

(images all from here via here)

I've said before that I like to shop for houses we can't afford. O would luuuurrve to have a house with a swimming pool.

When does his family become my family?

….and vice versa….

On Saturday night O’s sister and her husband had a baby boy.

So O is an Uncle for the first time.

O doesn’t regard himself as an Uncle to my niece and nephew – they were born a good while before O and I got together but hopefully over time he will get closer to them. They currently think he is great anyway because he is a big kid that they can't exhaust.

And I'm an Aunty again, feels strange for me, it being on the other side of the family. I don't distinguish between my own Aunts and Uncles, those who are blood related and those related through marriage. I guess it just takes a while to get used to.

Not only has the new arrival got me thinking about the familial boundaries merging but this coming weekend is going to be HUGE for us. Our parents are going to meet each other for the first time and I’m crapping my pants, much more than when I introduced O to my parents for the first time. I have no idea if they are going to get on and I keep dreaming up all the horrible ways it could go wrong. So come on bloggers tell me your experiences how was the big parental meet up for you? Tell me it is all going to be ok!

My weekend

Hmmm so writing I should probably get around to doing some of that right.
So this weekend, I'm on my own - O is in Spain playing his bizarre sport for Scotland (still not going to tell you what it is). So I'm doing some sofa bonding, my favourite activity! I'm catching up on trashy TV, reading and sleeping. Think I've got a throat infection, but I'm ignoring that hoping it might go away.

I had a back massage last night to ease me into the relaxation. I love getting back massages I’m not your fancy-pants brush your fingers across my back type of a girl. I’m a go hell for leather get you knuckle into that knot in my muscle type of girl. And oh my goodness the girl last night showed no mercy. My shoulders now feel pretty bruised but I’m going back in 3 weeks to have another round. That all sounds a little brutal sorry!

The relaxation was a little disturbed today by a phone call from the fraud department of my credit card. Now I’m suspicious of anyone who phones me and then asks for my personal details. Not to mention the fact that about 4 months ago my Aunt was conned out of £2,000 by someone ‘apparently’ calling from her credit card fraud department (she was refunded). So the sceptic in me refused to talk to the perfectly pleasant woman who phoned and called the number on the back of my credit card and true enough I was put through to the fraud department. Someone has tried to purchase something online in America and last night tried to make a payment to a company in Croydon last night at 0:02 (I was sleeping at that time). Thankfully the fraud department spotted something dodgy and denied both payments so I haven’t lost any money and all I need to do is wait for my new card to arrive.

Hope you are having an enjoyable relaxing weekend (other than Rebecca who I hope is having a productive weekend).

Hogmanay Recap

Between Christmas in Leeds and in preparation for New Year with O’s family in the Highlands we spent a few days in our little flat – O did his Christmas shopping saving it for the January sales what an interesting plan. We put away our little Christmas tree and did plenty of sorting and washing.

On the 30th we set off early in the morning so as to get north in the day light, the snow covered the hills and the drive through Glencoe was breathtakingly beautiful, the trees along the road were bowed like old men under the weight of the snow. I spotted lots of gentle deer snuffling in the snow looking for food, I refused to let O look around he needed to concentrate on the road. After a few hairy moments in the snow we finally reached O’s parent’s little cottage, I was very disappointed to find out we’d missed a fabulous display of the Northern Lights the night before - I’ve never seen them and they didn’t make a reappearance during our visit. We had a wonderful few days; Hogmanay we got snowed in so spent the evening just O’s parent and us playing dominoes and cards, we lit a small fire and had sparklers and brandy for the bells. On the 1st we went to O’s sister’s house for a winter BBQ, on the 2nd we had a bonfire. Lots of being outside in the cold crisp air led to a very tired R and lots of sleeping.

I really like my in-laws (I’m very lucky they are lovely people and we get on well) and this visit was so nice, due to the weather it meant that we had to spend all our time together. Not that we wouldn’t want to spend time together it is just that usually we are off seeing O’s friends and they are busy people with their own friends.

All in all we had a very pleasant introduction to 2010.

Apologies for the quality of the photos they were taken by me (not a good start) from a moving car (double trouble)!