Friday, 10 December 2010

How’s married life?

If O and I could get a £1 for every time we’ve been asked, “how’s married life?” we’d be loaded!

I’m sure I was guilty of doing it and for that I sincerely apologise.

Option 1
How’s married life?
Great, amazing, we’re so happy, thanks for asking.
Aww you’re still in the honeymoon period that’ll pass :)
F**k you

How’s married life?
It’s ok, just the same as normal really
Aww passed the honeymoon period already? :(
F**k you 

So how's married life? It is great I love my husband but it isn’t that much different to life before we got married. We still have to go to work (staring lovingly into each others eyes isn’t going to pay the bills and I hate to admit it but it does get a little dull after a while). We have to cook dinner (well he does) we have to clean the bathroom (well I do).

Still to be married folk I have some really bad news for you. Time does not stand still. You have this momentous day, you make these life altering promises to each other and yet time keeps going. Your guests will go to work on Monday, the postman will still deliver your credit card bill. I'm telling you it was a shock to me. I was expecting there to be a pause. Also you don't look any different either (this is starting to sound like losing your virginity). When you go and pay for the petrol the guy behind the desk will not understand why you are grinning like a mad thing - he really just wants you to pay and leave already. 

Married life is life but with extra jewellery, an extra sense of relationship security, an extra glow in my heart that he is my husband (don’t tell him that). The every now and again "wow we're married". A whole lot of extra paperwork (should have stuck with my own name).  Learning a new terminology – he is my husband not my partner or boyfriend and I’m his wife.

I had a fear that getting married would change us and perhaps it will with time. However, really I didn’t want our relationship to change that much because I wouldn’t have married him if I wanted something or someone different.

All of that aside – what is the right answer? Or what answer (not involving swearing) will make them shut up and go away?

*I first drafted this post when we'd been married for three months, the intensity of the questioning has reduced some so I not quite so angry and bitter as it might sound above. 


  1. Yeah. We got that too. It gets better with time as you have said.

  2. I always want to sass people when they bring up that "honeymoon phase" bullsh*t. Can't you just be happy that we're happy and leave it at that? *sigh* I wish there really was a magic answer. (Also, over 1 year on, and we still get that question - and those responses - occasionally.)

  3. And of course the second question after how's married life is, 'when are you going to have kids?' Both questions annoy me. Mostly when people ask 'how's married life?' I tell them fabulous, they should get married immediately and that I highly recommend marriage. Seems to shut them up :)

    I've never had the honeymoon phase response, seems very odd to me, and slightly bitchy too (if I'm really honest). Like they don't want you to say you're really happy.

    And finally I feel different being married, the security is probably the biggest thing, just knowing you have made that commitment, kind of changed things a little, in a good way though.

  4. If someone can find the magic answers before, April, please let me know!

  5. You have the same relationship balance as we do - boyfriend does all the cooking and I clean the toilet. We prefer it that way!

    I've never really thought that marriage would change a relationship in any way, but I'm not married, so am not the best commentator! x

  6. Yup guilty as charged of asking that question... don't think I've ever said the honeymoon bit though!

    Strange how you can be 'teased' for something like that... some of my relatives I know will be the ones asking this as they're the ones who said at my cousin's wedding 'that'll be you in a year' (but in a way that's like 'how's married life?' if that makes sense??

    Glad to hear that it doesn't change you both that much – I think we're happy as we are and I do always say that even if we didn't do this we still be us, we'd still be together til old age. So no idea what our answer will be!!

  7. Oh god, that sounds annoying - note to self, don't ask that question! Married life sounds lovely though "an extra glow in my heart that he is my husband". Just how I imagined it would feel :)


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