Where do you stand? Do you call your parent's Mum and Dad or by their first names? What would you want your child to call you?
Showing posts with label Mum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mum. Show all posts
Monday, 17 March 2014
Dad, Daddy, Dada or Bob, Fred, George
Inevitably our 14/15 month old daughter finds Dada a much easier sound to make than Mama. She doesn't make the sound in relation to her Dad yet but I think that is because we haven't jumped on her with encouragement and reinforcement. My husband doesn't want our daughter to call him Dad, Daddy or Dada. He'd like her to use his name and although she has a lot of opinions about how many spoons she needs to be holding she has yet to form an opinion about how she refers to her father - who knows what she'll chose to call him. I just hope it is polite at least until she is a teenager. He, and his siblings, have always called their parents by their first names. I think his older sister started it and then never went back to Mum and Dad, I'm led to believe that a lot of children go through a phase of calling their parent's by their first names. My first reaction I suppose was to worry that people might not realise that he is her Dad - I really need to stop worrying about what people think. My family although respectful of the decision don't seem to be able to get used to it. We've just spent a weekend correcting my Mum and her constant dadadadadada noises. Unfortunately his name is going to be quite a challenge for a babbling baby as it isn't as simple as dada but that is a wait he is prepared for. I'm desperate to be Mama/Mum but it appears I'm going to have to wait for that too. Friends have also found it quite difficult to get used to it. I guess common practice is that we call our own parent's Mum and Dad and therefore we become Mum and Dad when we become parents. I was interested that his sister, who allegedly started the whole thing, is called Mum by her own children.
Thursday, 14 March 2013
1KB
I haven't blogged for quite some time. So long in fact that while I've been away I have managed to be pregnant and had a daughter in early January without any mention gracing these pages. The pages that kept me sane through wedding planning but felt too public for my journey to starting a family.
However I'd like to start writing again. I also find myself in need of a community to support my sanity as my world changes so dramatically.
Being how I like to be mysterious/protect some anonymity I'll refer to my daughter as 1KB within these pages.
However I'd like to start writing again. I also find myself in need of a community to support my sanity as my world changes so dramatically.
Being how I like to be mysterious/protect some anonymity I'll refer to my daughter as 1KB within these pages.
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
You forgot?!
Our first anniversary fell on a Sunday and so I blamed there being no post delivery for the lack of cards. We opened the couple that had arrived the day before and received text messages from some friends and O's family.
There was no a whiff of a message or card from my family.
We went out for the day and I expected to come home to the answerphone full of messages from my family asking what we were doing to celebrate.........nothing.
I came home from work on Monday expecting cards thinking they'd just missed the Saturday post.........nothing (ok a bank statement).
MY FAMILY FORGOT OUR FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!
I sent a nudge, nudge email to my Mum and got a grovelling response. My nudge, nudge to #2 got a complete blank in response, she had no idea of the significance of the date. (#1 is in Spain on holiday, I'm letting her off)
What do you mean the date of the party of the decade is not etched into your brain forever? What do you mean you don't come over all emotional when that particular date is mentioned?
(Am I the only one that feels strange when people talk about events/meetings that happen to fall on my birthday? Yes, ok then.)
My Mum has asked how they will ever make it up to us. I floated the idea that they take us with them to the Caribbean later this year. Apparently forgetting your daughters first wedding anniversary does not mean you need to pay for her and her husband to tag along on your holiday. We're very disappointed.
There was no a whiff of a message or card from my family.
We went out for the day and I expected to come home to the answerphone full of messages from my family asking what we were doing to celebrate.........nothing.
I came home from work on Monday expecting cards thinking they'd just missed the Saturday post.........nothing (ok a bank statement).
MY FAMILY FORGOT OUR FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!
I sent a nudge, nudge email to my Mum and got a grovelling response. My nudge, nudge to #2 got a complete blank in response, she had no idea of the significance of the date. (#1 is in Spain on holiday, I'm letting her off)
What do you mean the date of the party of the decade is not etched into your brain forever? What do you mean you don't come over all emotional when that particular date is mentioned?
(Am I the only one that feels strange when people talk about events/meetings that happen to fall on my birthday? Yes, ok then.)
My Mum has asked how they will ever make it up to us. I floated the idea that they take us with them to the Caribbean later this year. Apparently forgetting your daughters first wedding anniversary does not mean you need to pay for her and her husband to tag along on your holiday. We're very disappointed.
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
Tumble
There is nothing like your best friend telling you your blog doesn’t look chipper at the moment to kick start you into activity. Chipper is not exactly a word I would use to describe my mood or my life at present (or my blog - sorry).
Those of you that don’t follow me on twitter (why not?) won’t have heard that just over two weeks ago #2 (middle sister) took a tumble off her bicycle as she was on her way to work. That Monday O and I were driving home from our weekend with his parents. When we got home at about 4pm there was a missed call on my mobile with a voicemail from my Mum. “You’re probably still driving but give me a call.” There was no “asap” no “immediately” but from her tone of voice, I knew there was something wrong. I phoned and heard that #2 had come off her bike, no one is sure what happened but she was in hospital with cuts and bruises, about seven stitches to her lip, a broken cheekbone and four smashed teeth. Her CT scan was all clear and they were expecting to release her that evening – they kept her in. Her boyfriend and #1 (eldest sister) had been with her for the day and a wee while later I spoke with #1 to hear her side of the story. The theory is that #2 had swerved to avoid something (not sure what) and had hit the back of a van. She was taken to hospital on a full trauma call (team of doctors, strapped to the board, head in brace – have watched too many episodes of ER). However by the time her boyfriend got to the hospital (he works outside London) and by the time #1 got to the hospital (the one day a week she car shares) the police had left. No one could tell them what had happened. #2 cannot remember and is missing about 3 hours of the morning – she can remember cycling along and then being in the hospital and her boyfriend arriving, but none of the activity at the scene, none of the ambulance journey and nothing in the trauma room. Although she was apparently alert and conscious the entire time meaning, she must have answered all their questions correctly even if she cannot remember any of those conversations.
She will eventually receive a copy of the police incident report and have to deal with the repercussions if she was at fault and caused the accident – I had thought that if the only person she has hurt is herself then where is the blame to assign? However, if she has caused damage to another vehicle she will need to pay. Equally if she is not at fault, she is currently off work unpaid and has new teeth to buy (she has just started a new job and is not currently eligible for sick pay).
I was busy with work last week and whilst I wanted to see her, I didn’t really understand how I could help other than look at her and be there (plus she had a house full already) – I didn’t really understand her injuries at that point. Then I caught a cold and was told to stay away. The last thing she needed was a cold, plus she was under strict doctor’s orders not to blow her nose or she could put her cheekbone out of alignment. Feeling much better and a lot less contagious on Friday morning I boarded the plane to London, I was spending the weekend as my parent’s were going home to have a break and her boyfriend was flying to New York to run the marathon – which he did in 3 hrs 42 mins 58 secs – uhmazing!
I did not realise or I would have been there sooner.
(although not sure how I’d have dealt with the cold).
Externally she looks ok, her cuts and bruises had more or less gone, quite a few of the stitches in her lip came out while I was there and the swelling was going down. Her teeth still look terrible but it will take time for her jaw to stop aching (think she hit the ground, jaw first, with quite a clatter) she is fed up of mashed potatoes.
What I had not appreciated and had not been fully explained to me (trying not to worry me) is that she is constantly exhausted – I thought this was because of the bruises and the aching but actually, her brain is just tired, it took a big jolt.
She struggles to cope with more than one conversation at a time and found my parents and me chatting around her exhausting because she could not follow the numerous threads. She hasn’t managed to watch the TV although we did try watching Strictly Come Dancing – the movement of the screen, the bright lights and the noise made her incredibly tense, she frowned at the TV and tried to back away into the sofa. She struggles to use the computer for long periods because the flickering screen makes her head hurt. She doesn’t like going into the kitchen because the fridge is noisy, as is the dishwasher and washing machine and the clatter of the dishes. She is a wreck whenever she leaves the house, being in cars is extremely scary and even walking along the pavement because she feels everything is so unpredictable. We did go out for some walks and she is trying to go out more as she feels rather trapped inside – but it is taking small steps and she is a quivering wreck if a cyclist passes her.
Mum has been with her practically since it happened, leaving this weekend to have a break and only because she knew I was there – she is coming back on Thursday. Thankfully, Mum is a clinical psychologist with forty years experience so she has seen many, many victims of road traffic accidents and is putting all her skills to good use trying to build up #2’s confidence.
Having to leave her yesterday was just heart breaking as it was the first time she had been left alone since the accident, it was just for a couple of hours as her friend came in to make her food but she was in floods of tears. Trying hard to be strong but not really managing it. She is also feeling guilty that she cannot just snap out of it and get on with stuff.
It is obviously going to take time for her to recover and we will need to see whether she gets any memories back. Being the baby sister I am not used to having to be the strong one – not sure I like it much. Looking forward to having her fit and well again, no matter how long that might take.
Those of you that don’t follow me on twitter (why not?) won’t have heard that just over two weeks ago #2 (middle sister) took a tumble off her bicycle as she was on her way to work. That Monday O and I were driving home from our weekend with his parents. When we got home at about 4pm there was a missed call on my mobile with a voicemail from my Mum. “You’re probably still driving but give me a call.” There was no “asap” no “immediately” but from her tone of voice, I knew there was something wrong. I phoned and heard that #2 had come off her bike, no one is sure what happened but she was in hospital with cuts and bruises, about seven stitches to her lip, a broken cheekbone and four smashed teeth. Her CT scan was all clear and they were expecting to release her that evening – they kept her in. Her boyfriend and #1 (eldest sister) had been with her for the day and a wee while later I spoke with #1 to hear her side of the story. The theory is that #2 had swerved to avoid something (not sure what) and had hit the back of a van. She was taken to hospital on a full trauma call (team of doctors, strapped to the board, head in brace – have watched too many episodes of ER). However by the time her boyfriend got to the hospital (he works outside London) and by the time #1 got to the hospital (the one day a week she car shares) the police had left. No one could tell them what had happened. #2 cannot remember and is missing about 3 hours of the morning – she can remember cycling along and then being in the hospital and her boyfriend arriving, but none of the activity at the scene, none of the ambulance journey and nothing in the trauma room. Although she was apparently alert and conscious the entire time meaning, she must have answered all their questions correctly even if she cannot remember any of those conversations.
She will eventually receive a copy of the police incident report and have to deal with the repercussions if she was at fault and caused the accident – I had thought that if the only person she has hurt is herself then where is the blame to assign? However, if she has caused damage to another vehicle she will need to pay. Equally if she is not at fault, she is currently off work unpaid and has new teeth to buy (she has just started a new job and is not currently eligible for sick pay).
I was busy with work last week and whilst I wanted to see her, I didn’t really understand how I could help other than look at her and be there (plus she had a house full already) – I didn’t really understand her injuries at that point. Then I caught a cold and was told to stay away. The last thing she needed was a cold, plus she was under strict doctor’s orders not to blow her nose or she could put her cheekbone out of alignment. Feeling much better and a lot less contagious on Friday morning I boarded the plane to London, I was spending the weekend as my parent’s were going home to have a break and her boyfriend was flying to New York to run the marathon – which he did in 3 hrs 42 mins 58 secs – uhmazing!
I did not realise or I would have been there sooner.
(although not sure how I’d have dealt with the cold).
Externally she looks ok, her cuts and bruises had more or less gone, quite a few of the stitches in her lip came out while I was there and the swelling was going down. Her teeth still look terrible but it will take time for her jaw to stop aching (think she hit the ground, jaw first, with quite a clatter) she is fed up of mashed potatoes.
What I had not appreciated and had not been fully explained to me (trying not to worry me) is that she is constantly exhausted – I thought this was because of the bruises and the aching but actually, her brain is just tired, it took a big jolt.
She struggles to cope with more than one conversation at a time and found my parents and me chatting around her exhausting because she could not follow the numerous threads. She hasn’t managed to watch the TV although we did try watching Strictly Come Dancing – the movement of the screen, the bright lights and the noise made her incredibly tense, she frowned at the TV and tried to back away into the sofa. She struggles to use the computer for long periods because the flickering screen makes her head hurt. She doesn’t like going into the kitchen because the fridge is noisy, as is the dishwasher and washing machine and the clatter of the dishes. She is a wreck whenever she leaves the house, being in cars is extremely scary and even walking along the pavement because she feels everything is so unpredictable. We did go out for some walks and she is trying to go out more as she feels rather trapped inside – but it is taking small steps and she is a quivering wreck if a cyclist passes her.
Mum has been with her practically since it happened, leaving this weekend to have a break and only because she knew I was there – she is coming back on Thursday. Thankfully, Mum is a clinical psychologist with forty years experience so she has seen many, many victims of road traffic accidents and is putting all her skills to good use trying to build up #2’s confidence.
Having to leave her yesterday was just heart breaking as it was the first time she had been left alone since the accident, it was just for a couple of hours as her friend came in to make her food but she was in floods of tears. Trying hard to be strong but not really managing it. She is also feeling guilty that she cannot just snap out of it and get on with stuff.
It is obviously going to take time for her to recover and we will need to see whether she gets any memories back. Being the baby sister I am not used to having to be the strong one – not sure I like it much. Looking forward to having her fit and well again, no matter how long that might take.
Friday, 21 May 2010
Special Women 1
Having told you most of the details that are arranged for the wedding so far I thought I’d tell you a little bit about some of the guests that are coming – lovely readers I'd like you to meet my “Special Women”:
A few weeks ago I got an email from my Mum that had me jumping up and down and crying with joy*. My second Mum is going to come to our wedding. Mum2 was a lady from my village who answered an advert that my Mum placed in the window of the post office for a child minder**. Mum2 was the only person who answered the ad. They met and talked and Mum2 was given the job. She was to look after me and #2 after play-group, nursery, primary school and junior school. We spent so much time with Mum2 that she did literally become like our second Mum***. She first introduced us to Ribena, she never let us watch the TV while we had our dinner. She used to split my dinner plate in half and bargain with me that if I ate one half I could leave the rest. She would always catch me when I tried swapping food onto the other half, you couldn’t get anything past her. She even had a play park right behind her house. I can’t remember when exactly she stopped looking after us and went back to work****, probably when her own children were old enough not to need her around the house as much. I remember never making the same connection with any of the other women that came into to look after us (gosh that doesn’t sound good they were lovely women they just had extremely high standards to live up to). As you might be able to tell she is a very special lady to our family and was on the guest list before some of my Aunts and Uncles.
Maybe 10 years or so ago her daughter moved to Australia met a man and settled down there starting her own family. Some years later Mum2 and her husband went across to visit, tragically while they were there Mum2’s husband had a heart attack and passed away. Mum2 returned to England and tried to return to normal life. After another couple of years she decided that she didn’t want to be in England anymore and emigrated to Australia to help her daughter and look after her grandchildren. I can completely understand her reasoning and how hard it must have been. I am however massively jealous and still holding out hope that when/if we have children she will come to Scotland and look after them – I don’t think that is an unreasonable hope. Other than our parents there is no one else I would trust as much to look after them.
Australia is quite clearly a very long way away so I wasn’t holding out a huge amount of hope that Mum2 would be able to make it across. Until I got that email from my Mum. She had been on the phone to Mum2 who was worrying about what outfit she would wear and trying to work out her flights. I believe my Mum and Dad are currently trying to co-ordinate her flights from London (where her son and other grandchildren live). So that she has some company on the flight and we can go and collect her from the airport (*grinning* at the thought of seeing her).
*I was on my own in the flat so did actually do a happy dance around the coffee table!
**In the days when you didn’t have to have 100 qualifications and health and safety certificates to be a childminder.
***Luckily my Mum loves her as much as we do so she doesn't mind that we call her our second Mum.
****she went to work in a wedding dress shop, while I was shopping for my dress there were endless times I wished that she could be with me. I envy all the girls that she helped with their dresses because I bet she was the nicest wedding dress shop lady ever!
A few weeks ago I got an email from my Mum that had me jumping up and down and crying with joy*. My second Mum is going to come to our wedding. Mum2 was a lady from my village who answered an advert that my Mum placed in the window of the post office for a child minder**. Mum2 was the only person who answered the ad. They met and talked and Mum2 was given the job. She was to look after me and #2 after play-group, nursery, primary school and junior school. We spent so much time with Mum2 that she did literally become like our second Mum***. She first introduced us to Ribena, she never let us watch the TV while we had our dinner. She used to split my dinner plate in half and bargain with me that if I ate one half I could leave the rest. She would always catch me when I tried swapping food onto the other half, you couldn’t get anything past her. She even had a play park right behind her house. I can’t remember when exactly she stopped looking after us and went back to work****, probably when her own children were old enough not to need her around the house as much. I remember never making the same connection with any of the other women that came into to look after us (gosh that doesn’t sound good they were lovely women they just had extremely high standards to live up to). As you might be able to tell she is a very special lady to our family and was on the guest list before some of my Aunts and Uncles.
Maybe 10 years or so ago her daughter moved to Australia met a man and settled down there starting her own family. Some years later Mum2 and her husband went across to visit, tragically while they were there Mum2’s husband had a heart attack and passed away. Mum2 returned to England and tried to return to normal life. After another couple of years she decided that she didn’t want to be in England anymore and emigrated to Australia to help her daughter and look after her grandchildren. I can completely understand her reasoning and how hard it must have been. I am however massively jealous and still holding out hope that when/if we have children she will come to Scotland and look after them – I don’t think that is an unreasonable hope. Other than our parents there is no one else I would trust as much to look after them.
Australia is quite clearly a very long way away so I wasn’t holding out a huge amount of hope that Mum2 would be able to make it across. Until I got that email from my Mum. She had been on the phone to Mum2 who was worrying about what outfit she would wear and trying to work out her flights. I believe my Mum and Dad are currently trying to co-ordinate her flights from London (where her son and other grandchildren live). So that she has some company on the flight and we can go and collect her from the airport (*grinning* at the thought of seeing her).
*I was on my own in the flat so did actually do a happy dance around the coffee table!
**In the days when you didn’t have to have 100 qualifications and health and safety certificates to be a childminder.
***Luckily my Mum loves her as much as we do so she doesn't mind that we call her our second Mum.
****she went to work in a wedding dress shop, while I was shopping for my dress there were endless times I wished that she could be with me. I envy all the girls that she helped with their dresses because I bet she was the nicest wedding dress shop lady ever!
Monday, 3 May 2010
Mother of the Bride
My Mum has bought her Mother of the Bride outfit. I think she might be the most glamourous person at the wedding - she will beat me hands down.
My Mum is difficult to shop for, being petite and having a upper half a different size to her bottom half it isn't easy to find things that fit her. She also hates shopping. #1 & 2 took her for a day with a personal shopper and this was the outfit that they came up with, a whole day and they only came up with one outfit. I had to cut off the hat they chose because I can't figure out how to blank out just her face (such a nice way to talk about my mother). My Mum's words it is "ok" if I can't find anything it will be the one. Huh, who would have thought that MoB shopping would be the same as wedding dress shopping. There isn't the perfect outfit just a "one" that will do. Anyway I happen to think she looks fabulous in her "ok" outfit.
Thursday, 1 April 2010
DVLA
DVLA
Swansea
SS99 1LW
1 April 2001Swansea
SS99 1LW
Dear R,
We regret to inform you that your driving license has been cancelled.
Your driving examiner had been struck off our register and all passes between June and September 2000 have to be retaken.
A new test appointment has been made for Friday 4 May 2001 at 10:40am at the Wakefield Test Centre and you will not be charged for this test.
YOU MUST NOT DRIVE AGAIN UNTIL YOU HAVE PASSED THIS TEST.
Yours Faithfully,
J.O. King
Miss Josephine King
Senior Administrative Officer
Telephone call between me and my Dad
Me (in tears): Oh my God I need to take my driving test* again, oh no, oh no, oh no
Dad: Your Mum isn't here, have you read the letter?
Me: Yes it says I have to take my driving test again.
Dad: Who is the letter from?
Me: DVLA
Dad: No who has written the letter?
Me: J King
Dad: Who
Me: Josephine King
Dad: And her initials?
Me: J.O. King
Dad: aaaannnnndddddd?
Me: I don't know what you mean?
Dad: What is the date of the letter?
Me**: 1st April
Dad: What April Fool's Day?
Me (yelling): WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad: Not my fault, not my fault, it was your Mum's*** idea, I told her not to do it.
*I'm a good driver however I'm bad at tests. I passed my driving test on the sixth attempt - reversing was also quite a problem. When I passed my test I was on beta blockers to try and stay calm so the thought of having to retake the test yet again was soul destroying.
** Ok yes it took me quite a long time to work it out.
*** She is of the don't take yourself too seriously club, if you can't laugh at yourself no one will laugh with you. I did eventually forgive her.
Have you ever been caught out by an April Fool?
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Happy Anniversary Mum & Dad
Today is my parent's 43rd wedding anniversary - apparently the traditional gift is travel. Quite apt as they are currently enjoying a trip of a life time to South Africa.
Sunday, 14 March 2010
Happy Mother’s Day
I feel about Mother’s Day a little bit like how I feel about Valentine’s Day. I love my Mum every single day and tell her how much I appreciate her unconditional love and support as often as possible. I do not need a specific calendar date to remind me of these things.
This year my parents are in South Africa ski-ing (spending kids inheritance) and #2 who is clearly the most thoughtful sister has arranged for the hotel to present her with a cake wishing her a Happy Mother’s Day. I thought I was being quite organised getting a card to her before they jetted off.
So away and appreciate your Mums.
This year my parents are in South Africa ski-ing (spending kids inheritance) and #2 who is clearly the most thoughtful sister has arranged for the hotel to present her with a cake wishing her a Happy Mother’s Day. I thought I was being quite organised getting a card to her before they jetted off.
So away and appreciate your Mums.
(image from here)
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Love Stories - My Parents
When it comes to marriage my parents are a huge inspiration to me. They had a horrible start to their marriage but they made it work and they are a true partnership.
My parents met very young, my Mum was 18 and Dad 19, they hadn’t been together very long when my Mum fell pregnant. (It is one of my Mum’s biggest parental achievements that she got her three daughters past 19 without being pregnant, we had safe sex drilled into us). My Dad immediately stepped up to the mark and was willing to stand by his woman – they’d made a mistake but he wasn’t going to run away. My Mum however didn’t want to pressure him into the marriage. She refused to get married and dug her heels in. Unfortunately my grandparents were of the old fashioned variety and kicked her out of the house. What she went through in those few months make my heart ache every time I hear about it (horrendous bed-sits and a very strange land lady). She eventually was just too exhausted and talked things through with my Dad and they agreed to marry. They agreed that they would divorce after one year and my Dad would have as much access to the baby as he wanted.
So at 19 years old and 6 months pregnant my Mum met my Dad at the registry office and they made it official. There are very few pictures of their wedding because it was such a horrid time for them both – they have only just started celebrating their wedding anniversary (and as they don't know about the blog I can't really ask them for photos). The pictures that there are shows my Mum in a bottle green skirt suit – and when I say skirt, only just. This was the late ‘60s and my Mum at 6 months pregnant wore a mini skirt to her wedding (to be fair she barely had any bump and she looked fantastic). During their first year of marriage my Dad worked 3 jobs while studying for a degree. My Mum tried to cope with a new baby and study for her own degree. I guess they never got round to getting a divorce. They are still together 42 years later, I think as time went on they fell in love, and their love has continued to grow. They have had some really tough times, when I left for university, leaving them with an empty nest I thought they would split up.
However what actually happened was that they suddenly started to enjoy each other a lot more. They holiday a lot, they both work from home (although they are both allegedly retired) they just seem to have a great time together. (My sisters and I joke about them spending our inheritance but we are all just happy that they are happy).
I want to have a marriage like my parents although O and I have had a significantly better start. What I want is the partnership that they have, the belief that you can go through some tough times and still come out the other side with a happier and stronger marriage.
Monday, 26 October 2009
Cuddles
I love cuddles
I love cuddles from O where I snuggle into his neck and breathe him in. I love when he squeezes me tight and I feel protected from everything.
I love cuddles
I love cuddles from my Mum. I listen to her heart beat - it still has the power to soothe me like when I was a baby.
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