Thursday, 22 October 2009

We won't be having a religious ceremony

O and I are not religious, our parents are not religious and our grandparents were not really religious.

I have nothing against religion (ok that doesn’t sound right), what I’m trying to say (badly) is I believe what I believe, you should believe what you believe and perhaps one day we can have a discussion about it. Religion has always interested me; I have an A-Level in Religious Studies because I was interested in learning more (people frequently mistake my interest in religion for faith). I think knowledge about other people’s cultures and beliefs should be a basic level of general knowledge that we all have – how else are we supposed to function in a multi-cultural/faith/race society without some sort of basic knowledge of each others heritage and starting point.

Since we announced our engagement we have had a lot of people ask if we will be having a religious or a civil ceremony – and I’m not just talking about venue people. My own sisters have queried this with me, I thought they would have known our standpoint on religion, I would have definitely thought they would have known my standpoint even if they weren’t too sure about O’s.
Sorry I’m grappling with the point here. There are friends of mine who are married and I knew when they announced their engagement that they would have a religious ceremony. We had talked about their beliefs in general conversation and I knew that honouring their faith would be an important part of their day. There are those who I knew would not be having religion involved in their day. And then there are those who I didn’t have a clue about.
This has made me think about the attitude my peer group have to religion. Why is there this embarrassment to stand up and say I believe in this? Or I’m not sure I believe but I think I might, more than I think I don’t? Or simply I don’t believe.

Maybe the point of this post is – do people not know me (us)?

Or maybe it is be proud of what you believe?

Still not sure – see just another spare thought that was running around in my head and then I try to put it on paper and think I should have just kept it in my head ooops.

(Religion is a tricky subject and it is not my intention to offend anyone, my life is richer because I interact with people who have different opinions to me. I'm simply expressing my personal opinion.)


  1. Agreed a very tricky subject. I come from a very catholic family and was worried that they might be offended by the fact that we're not having a religious ceremony – but thankfully they're not at all. To me having a religious wedding would be as odd as deciding to have an australian one (sorry, that's a random comparison!!).

    I guess the difficulty in your case might be (and very sorry if I'm getting this wrong) is that if your family aren't religious then you're less likely to have to have made your feelings/beliefs well known?

    Perhaps less that people don't you and more that it's a grey area?

    And yes I know lots of non-religious people who then had religious ceremonies – I think mainly because that's what convention/families dictated. A very tricky one!

    Sorry for the ramble... adding my spare thoughts! ;)

  2. I think in the end people are always more moved by the truth (and whatever that means for you).


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