The Joys of Cat Ownership

Written April 2009

So they say never go to bed on an argument (although yea to Practical Wedding who says just get some sleep!). I can also recommend never going to bed with a mouse in the room. Not sure where the mouse came from, or when it was brought in but the fact that we have 2 cats kind of gives me a bit of a hint.

O and I were getting ready for bed when I noticed this black dot flash into a corner, thinking I was maybe seeing things I went to investigate, and sure enough the little black dot flashed past us again, along the front of the set of drawers and behind the set of 3 huge wardrobes that are in the bedroom. I’m not usually too squeamish about these things as I’ve had to come accustomed to picking up entrails, however they aren’t usually in my bedroom, and I’ve never seen them move quite so fast (being that they are usually half eaten by the time I see them). However as it was about 23.30 by this point, and the fact that it was behind the wardrobes that we wouldn’t be moving at that time of night we decided to go to sleep and worry about it in the morning.

All went fine until 2.55 this morning when I was woken by the noise of nibbling paper – coming from O’s side of the bed. Trying to ignore that I rolled over and buried my head under the pillow, however what I failed to ignore was the mouse climbing the curtains and running along the metal blinds! If you can imagine the sound of very tiny nails running along a blackboard in the pitch black can you imagine how unpleasant that might sound? More pleasant was the thud the mouse made when it hit the ground having climbed back down the curtains – but it managed to scurry away from this adventure. At this point I decided that I had suffered alone for long enough! So I woke O up – his response, send in the cats!!!!!

So I got up and opened the door, lo and behold there was the cat waiting for duty, so I turned and walked back to bed, as she turned and went to show me where the food bowl is – this is a trick that she demonstrates every day. So I followed her, picked her up and dumped her at O’s side of the bed – having not seen anything that caught her attention she again decided to demonstrate where the food is kept – clearly thinking I was daft. Having again dumped her further up O’s side of the bed closer to where I thought the mouse was hiding she finally managed to spot it. Not being the brightest spark in the place she made one failed attempt at getting a paw on it and forced it under the bed (which it may never reappear from). At this point O was getting grumpy and ordered that the cat be left to do what she does best in the dark. (I would have to argue that although she is a very accomplished hunter outside put her and any beast – mouse, spider, wood louse inside and she is completely incompetent!). At exactly the same point I turn off the light O manages to turn over and brush against my leg, me being a little highly strung at this point thought that the mouse was in my bed! I screamed and had to be peeled off the ceiling by O who found the whole thing quite amusing.

I would like to say that the story had a happy ending i.e. Cat caught and ate mouse and R slept soundly with that knowledge. However the prospect of a mouse that she couldn’t get to kept the cat entertained for about an hour – being 100x larger than the mouse in question she makes quite a bit more noise when scrabbling about under the bed trying to figure out where it had gone! She also finds people moving under duvets equally as fascinating so wasn’t really clued up to what was required of her. However after that the Owl came in, with I think her own catch so the Cat went and played with that, leaving me to try and get back to sleep, knowing there was a mouse about a foot away from my head! I must have some how managed this as it was 6.30 when I was again woken to a mouse squeaking – this invoked absolutely no response from the cats at all, I think it might be stuck among O’s national geographic collection which is under the bed!

We have left the cats and the mouse in the house together and I hope the inevitable will happen – apologies to the animal lovers however a sleep deprived R is not a happy R!!