Like this

(from here)

Bouquets

I like these:

(from here)

(from here)

Cuddles

I love cuddles

I love cuddles from O where I snuggle into his neck and breathe him in. I love when he squeezes me tight and I feel protected from everything.

I love cuddles

I love cuddles from my Mum. I listen to her heart beat - it still has the power to soothe me like when I was a baby.

I love cuddles

My Dad doesn't do cuddles. He does short sweet hugs a quick squeeze that says I love you daughter.

(image from here via here)

Thank you

(from here via here)

I just wanted to say thank you to all those who commented on this post.

I love the fact that I can ask your opinions.

Especially when I'm doing my own head in.

Weekend

So what are you up to this weekend?

I'm going for coffee and cake with some friends from Uni.

O and I are going for a drive around our "B" list of venues to see if anything jumps out. Just to double check that we really do love our venue as much as we think we do.

Sunday afternoon we fly to London to stay with my sister (#1) and babysit her kids for their half-term week. My nephew B is 12 going on 17 and niece E is 11 going on 22. I'm really looking forward to spending some time with them, before they become proper teenagers and refuse to talk to me.

So I probably won't be around too much next week. Will try to drop in but if not will catch up with you all next weekend.

What a week

(from here via here)

It's been a tough week at work. My department is being restructured and as mentioned previously it has come as a bit of a shock. I'm lucky, my job isn't really changing, I'm just changing teams and being given slightly more responsibility. For other people however there are going to be bigger changes and it is taking a lot of getting used to. But the negativity is sucking the life out of me. We had an "away day" on Wednesday which was supposed to get us all working together and bring back the positive vibe. Bullshit!

I'm off work for a week, when I get back I'll be in a new team and sitting at a new desk. Hopefully I'll be refreshed and ready to resist the negativity.

We won't be having a religious ceremony

O and I are not religious, our parents are not religious and our grandparents were not really religious.

I have nothing against religion (ok that doesn’t sound right), what I’m trying to say (badly) is I believe what I believe, you should believe what you believe and perhaps one day we can have a discussion about it. Religion has always interested me; I have an A-Level in Religious Studies because I was interested in learning more (people frequently mistake my interest in religion for faith). I think knowledge about other people’s cultures and beliefs should be a basic level of general knowledge that we all have – how else are we supposed to function in a multi-cultural/faith/race society without some sort of basic knowledge of each others heritage and starting point.

Since we announced our engagement we have had a lot of people ask if we will be having a religious or a civil ceremony – and I’m not just talking about venue people. My own sisters have queried this with me, I thought they would have known our standpoint on religion, I would have definitely thought they would have known my standpoint even if they weren’t too sure about O’s.
Sorry I’m grappling with the point here. There are friends of mine who are married and I knew when they announced their engagement that they would have a religious ceremony. We had talked about their beliefs in general conversation and I knew that honouring their faith would be an important part of their day. There are those who I knew would not be having religion involved in their day. And then there are those who I didn’t have a clue about.
This has made me think about the attitude my peer group have to religion. Why is there this embarrassment to stand up and say I believe in this? Or I’m not sure I believe but I think I might, more than I think I don’t? Or simply I don’t believe.

Maybe the point of this post is – do people not know me (us)?

Or maybe it is be proud of what you believe?

Still not sure – see just another spare thought that was running around in my head and then I try to put it on paper and think I should have just kept it in my head ooops.

(Religion is a tricky subject and it is not my intention to offend anyone, my life is richer because I interact with people who have different opinions to me. I'm simply expressing my personal opinion.)

So what do you think?

Hi lovely readers,

I wanted to ask your opinion on something. I think we might have found our wedding venue. It was the third venue we saw on Saturday and we both really loved it. The thing is that the only date they have available when we are looking for is 11 September 2010. Should I be worried about the significance of the date? It bothers me, but only slightly. We're not American and we don't know anyone who was directly effected. What happened was tragic and I don't want to take away from the significance of that event. However should this stop me from having it as my wedding date? What do you think? Am I just being daft?

Thank you
R


edited after first publication

Or here?

(from here via here)

Can I live here please?

(from here via here)

Weekend catch up

So Stobo was ridiculously expensive but the relaxation was worth it. Think we'll need to make a trip to the spa a regular occurrence.

Saturday we bought a huge beautiful handmade rug as an engagement present from O's parents. Covers a lot of our horrible living room carpet until we can save enough to buy new carpets.

Sunday we saw three wedding venues; first was ok but nothing special; second was sooooo expensive we ran away; third place definitely our favourite so far - actually got us quite excited. We are going to see more places but we have a front runner so far.

Hope you had a good one.

Weekend

Long weekend for me.............

Today I'm going to Stobo Castle for a day of pampering with two of my best friends (CG and KSG).

(image)

Then hopefully Saturday and Sunday O and I will be visiting potential wedding venues. Or we might just chill out, this is the first weekend we've had at home with no plans since we got engaged - been busy busy so will be nice to slow down together.

Hope you all have a nice weekend, would love to hear what you are up to.....

For when you are bored at work.......

Make a city out of staples:

(from here)

Oh dear

I just had a sad moment - and by sad I mean pathetic......

I saw this at Once Wed. And very nearly went ooh. And very nearly clapped my hands together with glee.

Luckily the rational part of my brain stepped in. Yes it's a button hole, yes it's a DIY button hole, yes it's a DIY button hole using stuff that's in my garden (which is some mean feat considering how small my garden is). But it still does not deserve clapping my hands together in glee. One to add to the inspiration pile me thinks.

(image and instructions on how to make here)

Made me giggle

Saw this here and it made me laugh.

Hello to everyone that stops by. Thank you for being here, taking the time to read my ramblings and all your lovely comments.

Hope you all had a good weekend!

Marriage Update

So remember I'm getting married - sometimes I forget myself.

Last weekend we went to my parent's for the weekend and met with a jeweller who is going to turn the below very special ring into our engagement ring. I'm so excited but need to be patient as it is going to take about 8 weeks. We need to wait for technical drawings and then a wax model which if we are happy with will be used to cast the ring. Not going to reveal the design just yet but I'll post pictures as soon as I can.

(image me)

I'm struggling with the colour scheme for the wedding. I swing between blue, brown and slate grey. Saw this inspiration board on Snippet & Ink.

Books I have read recently....

As I may have mentioned before I read a lot of blogs - they are all so lovely it is difficult to stop.

What I've found is that all the lovely bloggers out there are wonderful intelligent women, who all seem to have a very sophisticated taste in literature.

I don't! As mentioned previously I love crime novels so here are a few that I have read recently. Most of them I read on holiday, I don't read as much as I used to when I had a long commute.

Currently I'm reading:

Am I the only one who likes to read without the need for brain power?

(all images)

This weekend I will be mainly watching......

CRAP!!! (But I love it)
O and I have a magic box that records the TV for us. Well I say it's our box but it's usually full of my crap which he can't bring himself to watch. I've got lots stored up specially for a weekend alone.
Bridezillas - watched this for the first time and was terrified. Oh my god, are these women for real?
Peter Andre: The next chapter - I'm more in the Peter camp than Katie but I'm just nosey all round.
The Closer: Love you Brenda
CSI Miami -  come on Caleigh and Delko get it together
Law & Order Criminal Intent: Oh poor Goren 
Strictly Come Dancing: Interesting pose Jade?!
X Factor: What was Dani doing to Danyl? Outting him in front of the nation - awkward.
Am I the only one this sad - I think so!

A good cry

(image from here via wehearit)

I've had a bad day, last night I went and upgraded my mobile phone contract with a deal which sounded too good to be true - and guess what it was!
I couldn't get to sleep. O isn't here which always disrupts my sleep. I couldn't stop beating myself up for being so stupid - I should probably clarify that it was mainly my fault with some clever wording from the salesman thrown in.
I was outside the shop at 8:30 this morning (I discovered they didn't open until 10) trying to cancel - I can't

I came home from work to a dark empty house, I phoned my Mum who poured unconditional love on me and I started to cry.

Yes I cried because I got conned by a mobile phone sales man! (I think there might be some hormones going on in there.)

I cried for my own stupidity, because I thought I was cleverer than that.

But you know what I feel SO much better now - you can not beat a good cry, I would thoroughly recommend it. I'm off to get some food and run myself a bath.

On my own

O has gone home (to his parent's).

So I'm on my own until Sunday

I'm predicting lots of lazying about on the sofa in my dressing gown!

(image from here)

Syrup Sponge Pudding

For pudding last night O and I had Syrup Sponge Pudding, well actually we tried but neither of us could finish it, it was just too sickly. Later when we were both feeling decidedly unwell O checked the packet. We then realised that this pudding contained 100% of our daily recommended sugar intake. 100%!!! Needless to say the sugar crash was not a nice experience and we will not be buying that pudding again!

I do like a good pudding though.....


(image from here)

I heart this

So after I post about my back I'm looking through blogs and find weheartit. Where I found this lovely picture.

What are you thinking about?

This was inspired by this post from Naturally Nina’s amazing blog.

I often ask O “What are you thinking about?” usually after he has made a noise or smiled or sighed. I usually ask when I’m thinking I love you or I’m happy or when are we going to get married or what will our future be like. See it’s like a test to see if he is thinking the same as me. But O is an honest boy and he is never thinking the same as me (usually that is a good thing), and I’ve yet to train him to give me the answer I’m looking for. Even after 6 ½ years he won’t just say “I’m thinking about how happy we are” or some other such soppy lie. No he is always thinking about his silly sport (still not going to tell you what it is) or work or something on the TV. Then he asks me what I’m thinking about and I feel silly saying what I’m really thinking about so I make something up (see I’m ok with the little white lies).

Why do boys never seem to be thinking about their emotions, or why do they not tell you when they are?

What are you thinking about?

(photo from BBC Scotland)

Like this

I really liked Ola's hair on Saturday night.

(photo from BBC)

Back Pain

Warning this is a bit of a long moany post!

(Please let me clarify here I am aware that I’m extremely lucky to be in such good health and that I could be a lot worse off)

I get pain in my mid back – if you imagine where your rib cage ends. The pain feels like I’m being squeezed in a vice, like the muscles on either side of my spine have been screwed up into tight little balls and nothing will release them. There is no way to predict the pain, some days I wake up and feel great and can walk for miles. Other days I wake up and know that I’m not going to get very far the muscles are already tight and won’t loosen off.

I’ve been to a Physiotherapist, who has diagnosed my problem. I have a flat back posture, barely any curve in my back, my hamstrings are tight and my pelvis is tucked under. However there is nothing structurally wrong with my back I have been x-rayed and I recently had an MRI scan (because I hadn’t made as much progress as would have been expected). I’ve been told that although there is some deterioration of the discs in my spine there is nothing too out of the ordinary and certainly nothing that can be done surgically. (Was relieved at this, not sure I want surgery on my spine all sounded a bit scary).

The bad news is that the Physio says there is nothing that can be done to relieve the pain and give me back my normal lifestyle – I was never active but I used to be able to walk to the shops without being in pain. I used to be able to go to a nightclub, strut my funky stuff and then walk home.
The pain started about 4 years ago and has got progressively worse since then. The advice that the Physio has given me keep active, be as active as possible, has helped it just isn’t me (I now swim and go to the gym). I don’t enjoy exercise I never have, also I don’t seem to have endorphins – this gym high that people talk about, how great they feel after a good session, has never happened to me I just feel sleepy.

I’ve been discharged from the Physio with no further advice other than to keep active and don’t throw money at the problem it won’t fix it. Apparently I need to accept that I will always have a bad back and I need to develop my coping skills (rant)! So where does that leave me? Do I pay money to see a private physio and risk being strung along for a lot of money and false promises (been burnt before)? Do I just give up and accept that this is as good as it is going to get – but then if I can’t walk 10 minutes at 28 what will I be like when I’m 60?

As you might have guessed I find the whole thing quite upsetting because I want to be able to stand for our marriage ceremony, to hug our guests, to have our photos taken (I reckon I’ll sit to eat). I want to be able to dance every dance with my new husband, our family and our friends. I want to be burled around for the strip the willow and still be able to shake my tail feather! I don’t want to be sat on the edge of the dance floor in agony, or drugged to the eyeballs to mask the pain. But of course it goes further than that, I want to get pregnant (eventually) and be able to still walk, I want to be able to lift our babies from their cots without wincing, I want to be able to run after them along a wind swept beach.

(photo credits; 1st photo and 2nd photo)

The Weekend

Originally uploaded by Peonies and Polaroids

The picture has nothing to do with my plans for the weekend I just like it! Also love asparagus and I'm always gutted that the season is so short. O says I'm not allowed to have asparagus from Peru it has to be British grown only!

Anyway this weekend. We're going to my parents house to catch up with them. Most excitingly we will be visiting a jeweller to talk about making my engagement ring (seriously have been engaged for 2 months and not got a ring, need to be more organised).

My Mum is also threatening to take me to a wedding fayre which I'm trying to resist without throwing a temper tantrum. O is quite keen on going as he hopes there will be free cake. I on the other hand would rather take an ice bath! Are wedding fayres really as bad as I think they will be?

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, thank you for your comments and welcome to any new readers.
Rx

Gift for a new baby boy

I first saw this on a post over at My Life in Transition it is from here.

I think this is the most lovely print to put on a nursery wall. Going to ask if the new Mum I know would like one for her new baby boy - who I got to meet last night (I'm in love!).

Would also need to ask the seller (trendypeas) if they could put the date the British way round but I'm sure that won't be an issue.

Not my taste but love it anyway

So Facebook is a strange thing. I've reconnected with lots of people that I went to high school with who I completely lost contact with as soon as I left school.

Last weekend one of my Facebook friends got married and I thought her wedding looked great, the photos online while not professional show everyone partying hard - what more can you ask for?

They laid on party games

A Roulette wheel

What a beautiful bouquet (it kind of matched her hair!)

Bring on the feathers and hot pink!!

I told O about the blog

So I'm rubbish at keeping secrets. O and I share a computer (he has his own laptop but mine is better). I can't do furtive blog posting, and I really should stop posting at work.

So last night before we went to sleep (I like having awkward conversations in the dark). I told him that I had something to tell him that I didn't want to tell him (way to open a conversation with a loved one eh?). He knows that I have a current obsession with blogs so I told him I'd taken the obsession a step further and started to write my own. He laughed. He was extremely curious and wanted to know what I'd written about and what details I've given away. He said it was OK for me to keep writing if it made me happy.

I asked O not to tell anyone about my blog. I don't want his friends reading about my feelings, hell I don't want my friends to read about my feelings. Random web friends now that is OK (still struggling with that) but you give me such lovely encouragement.

I promised never to air our dirty laundry in public and if he wants to read the blog to send him the link. O however likes a challenge and he thinks he'll be able to find the blog through google. I'm off to try and find the blog through google with the information I've given him.

He says he loves me (that's all I really care about).

apologies for the bracket ad libs inner dialogue demons again